When I reflect on 2023, I think about how different things impacted me. It’s about what experiences I enjoyed and want more of next year, what experiences I didn’t enjoy, and what lessons I can take with me. It’s also about what improved my quality of life or changed me.
This year, we had a lot of traveling (and I think we overbooked - lesson learned), but interestingly, it’s not the trips that improved the quality of life. Even though bonding with a family, time outside our comfort zones, and new cultures definitely was valuable and expanded our views. What actually changed me this year are books and people. And thanks to a few books I started appreciating people in my life even more :)
I’m always grateful when people share what makes them better humans, and I take it as my personal responsibility to do the same. So here we go: a few books and resources, that improved the quality of my life in 2023.
Books
The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz
At the end of the last year, I listened to a conversation between Robert Waldinger and Sam Harris on the Waking Up app. Robert Waldinger is a director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development (the longest study on human wellbeing), psychiatrist, psychotherapist, and Zen priest. The conversation was about what makes us happy and healthier and how relationships impact our well-being. They also discussed a new book that uncovers these topics in depth based on the Harvard Study, and I thought that it would make a perfect gift to my husband for his upcoming birthday. Well, because, of course, I can see his areas for improvement better than he can :D I was surprised that he indeed liked it, and soon, I started reading it, too. Halfway through I ordered a few more copies and then a few more to give as a present for many of my friends. And now I don’t even have any copies left for myself (besides the e-book).
For 2023, it’s the most impactful book I’ve read. It helped me not only look at my relationships differently but also find and prioritize time with people I care about (this can be extremely difficult for a working parent). Turned out the gift I gave to my husband was the best gift I gave myself. I can summarize this book in Robert Waldinger’s words: “If you have only one thing that you need to invest in your life, that should be your relationships.”
Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman
This is a philosophy book put on the productivity shelf. I discovered Oliver’s short lecture series about productivity on the Waking Up app (do you see a pattern? :). These 10-minute lectures didn’t have typical advice on how to hack your tight schedules and make the most of your to-do list. He talked about quite the opposite: accepting our finitude.
Halfway through the lectures, I ordered the book, and when it arrived, I couldn’t put it down. In the book Oliver explores in-depth whether time is a resource, relative to what life is short, dealing with an overwhelming and never-ending list of important things (even the pleasant ones), what it takes to learn something complex, the joy of missing out, the benefits of practicing “cosmic insignificance therapy” (it has a funny name but has nothing do with spirituality), and the importance of hobbies and leisure.
This book helped me to ease my anxiety about dealing with too many projects in my life (and I have a long list of them, especially for all the books I want to read). It was like permission to just be and enjoy mundane moments in the world of competition, excellence, and cool lives. It reminded me that my life is enough and I am enough.
Good Enough Job: Reclaiming Life from Work by Simone Stolzoff
It was an unexpected find, no, not on Amazon, but in one of Cairo’s modern bookstores on Zamalek called Diwan. This book perfectly complemented The Good Life and Four Thousand Weeks: a collection of stories about people who are dedicated workers and put all eggs (aspirations, social life, self-worth) into one basket (work). Nothing wrong with loving what you do and doing it really well, but Simone reminds us about the risks of having work as the only meaning in life: what happens if you lose it?
Simone is also a designer at IDEO, and the book has a few stories from the tech industry. The one that struck the cord for me was about a famous US tech company and its anti-union push. No spoilers, but you would find it like a textbook example of the 2023 battle between tech and unions in Sweden. In the end, we know who loses.
For me, this book is a good reminder of a few things: it’s ok for work to be just work, most companies are built to generate profit, and they are not families, and it helped me to find time for things I enjoy outside work (like writing this post).
Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity by Peter Attia & Bill Gifford
(This book and the resources below were recommended by my friend. I cannot thank her enough.)
The topic of health is complex. If I go to my doctor now and ask what I should do to stay healthy as long as possible, what would he say? Probably something about eating healthy, exercising, sleeping well, and not stressing. But what exactly is healthy eating? How much should I exercise and what kind of exercises should I do? How can I make sure I’m on track to my healthiest version possible? I doubt he will give me somewhat clear answers.
Peter Attia has many titles (doctor is among them), but he is also a science nerd. He was able to summarize and translate the latest scientific research and put it into a clear actionable plan. It’s like a Your Health and Longevity 101 course. Even I, without a degree in science, was able to understand what tests I could order to track my health markers, how I should exercise, and where I should focus on my eating. This book connected many dots for me between the deadliest deceases and preventive measures I can do right now. No excuses when you have the knowledge.
Resources
Dylan Werner strength and yoga sessions on AloMoves.com
Dylan is an experienced yoga and fitness teacher. I’m not saying that these are the right exercises for everyone, but the focus of his training reflects what Peter Attia outlines in Outlive: the importance of mobility, flexibility, and strength for health span and longevity. The best part of it is they don’t require much equipment (just a yoga mat and blocks), suited for different athletic levels and goals, and most of them are about 30 minutes. After doing this training somewhat consistently for a few months, I connect better with my body, feel stronger, and have more energy.
Waking Up app
An amazing resource not only for people who want or already practice meditations but also for those of us, who are interested in philosophy and a better quality of life by shifting your mindset. The best gift ever from my friend.
HubermanLab
Andrew Huberman brings science to regular people. His episodes focus on improving physical and mental health, and he invites the best scientists in the industry. Just recently he released an interview with Dr. Robert Lustig on sugar and its impact on our health (and I’m already changing my behavior based on this). Watching or listening to such an interview is like moving yourself from your regular life to having dinner with the top scientific minds. I feel gratitude to the person I don’t know personally for sharing this knowledge.
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I wrote this long post in the hope that this information might be helpful at least for one person. But I also wrote it for myself because it was fun to write and fun to reflect on what food for thought I ate in 2023.